2008-01-31

Sleeping buffalo

It's been a slow month for pictures. I just now got around to downloading them off the camera.


A big heap of dirt, which the county dug out of our drainage ditch to counter the inevitable erosion. Instead of taking it away, they left it there because we asked them to. We are going to use it to fill in our ditch after we get a culvert pipe put in. I think this heap looks like a sleeping buffalo.


We have several sleeping buffalo.


Bald eagle on a telephone pole near us. I seldom see them this close.


A fossilized horse tooth that we found on the beach. This one has most of its enamel left. It's huge. I expect the prehistoric horse was also huge.


Gopher tortoise #1, browsing in our yard. We have two. We sneak up on them and re-number them periodically, drawing a large number on the back of their shell, like a race car. They don't particularly like it, but it doesn't hurt them and there's not a lot they can do about it.




A big spider who lives on our garden shed. I'm thinking he's trying to catch that bald eagle.


Kitschy Christmas. I don't think I've ever seen a manger scene made out of a wooden warehouse pallet, until now.


New appliances! Can you hear the appliance angels singing? My darling wife can. She's always wanted stainless steel. I like it too. It reminds me of my spaceship.


A new Bosch dishwasher, the quietest one made. It's louder when it's off than when it's running. Here, we haven't pulled the protective blue sheet off of the front yet.


A butterfly caterpillar at the butterfly garden that my darling wife runs.


Another caterpillar.


A butterfly in the aforementioned butterfly garden. This is a Gulf Fritillary, Agraulis vanillae. They're everywhere here.


A matching pair of boots, except the one on the left is covered with mold, after leaving it for two weeks in the garage during an unseasonally-rainy winter. Mold! Ick! Luckily it scrubbed right off with bleach. But yuck!


A bunch of Sandwich terns (Thalasseus sandvicensis). They look so whimsical to me, with their rakish haircuts, all slouching in the same direction like an avian motorcycle gang.


A dead skate. He's usually bigger than this, but his outer covering and wingtips are eaten away. This is just the cartilaginous skeleton.


This silly robin is always hanging around our parking lot at the beach, tweeting, staking out his territory. Here, he is attacking his own reflection in an automobile mirror, thinking it is another intruding male.

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2008-01-30

Mediocrity wins!

Sigh. Proving once again that the country would be better off under a benevolent dictatorship of Martians, a majority of chad-challenged nitwits in Florida voted for Hillary (Marxist Democrat) and McCain (Socialist Republican). On the plus side, John Edwards (pretty trial-lawyer Democrat) is dropping out of the race. On the minus side, Rudy Giuliani (slick ex-New York City mayor) is dropping out also.

Oh, Teddy Roosevelt, where are you when we need you? Or Andrew Jackson. Or Winston Churchill. Or Margaret Thatcher.

Sigh. Okay, time to banish such stupid things from my mind until November, since none of it really matters anyway. Oh, I suppose I will prick up my ears if an opportune assassination occurs, but otherwise, I intend to make all of the candidates waste their advertising money by paying zero attention to any of their claims.

Once again, the Presidential election will be a choice of the least-horrible candidate. And I'm fairly certain that that is NOT what democracy is supposed to be about.

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2008-01-28

Why not blame Hillary?

There are many recriminations flying around in the media today about how Bill Clinton's angry, finger-wagging interviews and attacks on Barack Obama in recent weeks hurt Hillary's campaign in South Carolina, which resulted in her being roundly trounced by Obama.

Why not blame Hillary, is my question? Is she no less loathsome than she was before she cried on camera? No, of course not. Although black voters were responsible for Obama's win over Hillary in South Carolina, I think the South Carolina primary's outcome is simply representative of Hillary's overall "negatives" among voters.

Frankly, the majority of people can't stand her. There's no getting around that, unfortunately for her.

Don't be blaming Bill, now. He's just a has-been. He did all the damage he could do when he was President. Today, he's merely a sideshow in Hillary's current circus.

I'm looking forward to Hillary folding the tent, sometime this summer, when it becomes apparent to everyone (if not to her) that her "negatives" with voters are insurmountable. Of course, the last few minutes of "The Manchurian Candidate" (1962) are a memorable scene in Hollywood history, and it's a happy fantasy of mine that life may imitate art at some point in Hillary's campaign.

But I will be happy when she simply runs out of time, money, and easily-manipulated voters. Meanwhile, it will be entertaining to see who she blames for her next failure, and the one after that, and the one after that...

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Britney Spears wins the honor of being trampled by a pack of paparazzi


Starting with the one with whom she is currently canoodling. That would be fun to watch.

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All of male-female relationships, summed up in 3 minutes and 15 seconds

As relevant today as the day it was written. ;-)

The Waitresses, "I Know What Boys Like"

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2008-01-25

I'll stop the world...

...and melt with you. One of the best songs written in the last half of the 20th century, I think. For some reason, skinny, pale Britons seem to write the best music. Go figure. I see that the guitarist is playing a 12-string guitar. I had one, once, and installed a pickup inside of it to electrify it, just as he has in the video. It played beautifully. Alas, I ran out of time to play it after college, and after lugging it around for a decade without playing it, finally sold it on eBay.

Modern English, "I Melt With You" (the proper, 1982 version. The 1990 remake that they did, quite frankly, sucks.)

Bowling for Soup's version.

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A mutilated picture

Today I saw on my doctor's office wall, a picture tacked to the corkboard. It was of a group of three people standing in front of a pretty mural at a restaurant. The picture had been folded in a Z-shape, so that the two people on the outside were next to each other, and the person in the middle was hidden, as if the person wasn't there at all.

I found myself wondering why. Normally, when I see a mutilated picture, a person has been cut out of it, usually because that person has similarly been excised from the life of the picture's owner. And it's usually for a painful reason.

Ever the one to "go there," I brightly asked, "So, why is this picture folded like that?" I have a knack for catching people off guard. Also, people just naturally tell me things, without me even having to pry. It's a Martian mind trick. You just have to project the right vibration.

"Oh," she said, eyes downcast. I waited.

And then she smiled. "That's my son's birthday picture. He turned sixteen that day. The person in the middle is me. My eyes are closed, because I had had too much to drink. So I folded the picture so that you couldn't see me with my eyes closed."

Inwardly, I sighed with relief. How nice, I thought, to see a mutilated picture which, for once, is mutilated for a happy, innocuous, silly reason, instead of a sad one.

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Six degrees of separation

A 21-year-old mother was abducted from her home last week near me, and was murdered. They caught the guy almost immediately, after two or three people called 911 when they saw him driving his car with her tied up in the back seat, screaming. But not quickly enough.

Usually I watch such horrible things on the news, but it's never anyone I know, or anyone anyone that I know knows.

What's creepy is that a few hours before he killed her, he fired some practice rounds at a range that I sometimes frequent. Practicing to kill her.

And even creepier, today my dental hygienist told me that the woman grew up in the house next door to her. She'd known this woman since she was a little girl, riding her tricycle around in her driveway.

It really made the crime seem much closer to me, somehow. And it reminded me that it's true, everyone on the planet is related to each other within six other people, otherwise known as the Six Degrees of Separation.

Sometimes being from another planet just isn't enough distance.

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A song that pretty much sums up college

This is one of the more bizarre songs I've ever heard, yet oddly memorable. Fear not, there's no naughty visuals in this video - they're all blacked out.

King Missile, "Detachable P*nis"

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2008-01-24

Watch your step!

I think this is hilarious. I feel badly for the people around him in his apartment building, but not for him. I think it was appropriate. Not only was he trying to kill people in general, he was trying to kill other Muslims at a mosque! I would think that fellow Muslims would be insulted and angered by such behavior. Certainly non-Muslims don't like it.

Suicide Bomber Trips and Blows Self Up

I think it would be interesting to give a would-be suicide bomber an MRI scan, to interpret his brain activity and to better understand what thought processes lead to such aberrant, psychotic, antisocial behavior. Already computers can measure stress levels and interpret thought patterns via movements, facial expressions, and other behaviors. It won't be long before they will be able to read brain activity, and thereby interpret thoughts, at a distance. And then the police will swoop in and arrest or kill suspects before they can even commit their crimes. Or, even scarier, they will be able to MODIFY those thoughts so that violent impulses are dissipated without the subject even knowing why, or being aware of it. "Urban pacification" through technology. It may already have been done, although with the opposite effect, by The Montauk Project.

When it happens, remember that I told you so.

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Instability

After a sharp-but-by-no-means-terribly-unusual drop in the US stock market on Tuesday (450 points), the Federal Reserve slashed the federal funds rate by .75 of a percent, which is the biggest drop in either 17 years or 25 years, depending on who you hear it from.

The market was following sharp declines in other stock markets around the world on Monday, amid worries about the weakness of the US economy and fears that it could slip into a recession. (Leading economists only predict a 40% chance of a recession, which is far less than the 100% chance that the US legacy media keeps prattling about.)

Such a drop in the US stock market is by no means major, I think. It certainly wasn't a significant percentage of the market's total value, less than 4 percent I believe.

The conspiracy theorist in me wonders why the Fed would have leaped into action so quickly, a week in advance of its normal meeting, to slash rates so briskly, when the conditions were by no means dire. (Anyone who remembers Black Monday (October 19, 1987) will know what I'm talking about. And even 1987 was mild compared to 1929. 1987 was brought on in large part by program trading, which automatically sold shares when triggered by a particular stock price. As the prices dropped, more trades were triggered, creating a landslide.)

Could it be that the powers-that-be were mainly interested in protecting the value of their own personal portfolios? Hmmmmm.

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2008-01-23

That is NOT a Martian!

It's clearly a doll that some careless Martian child left outside.

Spirit Rover Snaps Picture of Martian

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Heath Ledger, 1979-2008

Yawn.

Ledger never impressed me as anything special. I think I only saw him in "A Knight's Tale," which just made me want to watch the 1952 version of "Ivanhoe" to get the bad taste out of my mouth. If you want to talk about young talented stars dying early, how about River Phoenix? Now THERE was talent.

But it's really a shame that Ledger would die so young. After all, there are many other Hollywood types who really SHOULD die before their time, instead of Ledger. How about Alec Baldwin? Melanie Griffith? Barbara Streisand? Ed Asner? Jane Fonda? Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, ideally in the same drunk-driving car crash? Oliver Stone? Madonna? George Clooney? Viggo Mortensen? And let's not forget Michael Moore, voted "Most Likely To Choke To Death On A Bacon Cheeseburger" by his high school class.

Oh, there's so many who could have, should have gone before Ledger.

Poor Heath, we hardly knew ye.


(And if you're wondering why I listed these people, here's a link for you - Celebrity Liberal Whine List.)

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2008-01-22

A spectacular non-event

"SHHH!" my wife said as I came into the room this morning. Her attention was riveted to the television.

On it, two nondescript middle-aged people, a man and a woman, stood at a podium. In bored voices, they took turns reading out names. Occasionally the scene changed to show the huge auditorium, full of reporters and cameras, hushed, waiting expectantly for each name to be read.

It was the announcement of the nominees for the Oscars.

I turned to leave, but something made me watch for a moment.

As they read the names of categories and films, I realized that I recognized none of them.

None at all. Not a one. None of the films had even come to the jungle where I live, as far as I know. I recognized the name of an actor here and there, and some directors, but none of the films were familiar to me at all.

Somehow I felt good about it, as if I had avoided a long wait in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles. It felt good to be unaware of the made-up maelstrom of self-importance that is the specialty of Hollywood. It felt good to have avoided wasting hundreds of dollars and many hours of time to see these films which, by next year, everyone will have forgotten.

I turned and left. So did my wife. I think she realized, too, how little any of this matters to anyone but the very people who create such pablum.

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UFO over Stephenville, Texas?

On the night of January 8, many residents of Stephenville, Texas saw an Unidentified Flying Object. A short report is here. I saw some video of it myself, a better clip, which looked to me like a hovering object of indeterminate shape, with at least two white strobe lights flashing on it, one on the top of the object and one on the bottom.

Being a Martian, I've always been interested in the structure and behavior of UFOs. Many UFO sightings are easily explainable as aircraft, stars, planets, or atmospheric phenomena. But not all of them.

Of the sightings that are unexplainable, common recurring themes are:

  • Un-aircraft-like behavior, such as hovering for long periods of time, or accelerating from a hover to blinding speed and back to a hover, or making 90-degree turns at high speed
  • Un-aerodynamic shapes, such as horizontal or vertical cylinders, boxes, pyramids or bridge-girder-like structures (often triangular), along with the more common disk shape
  • Moving in silence, or with a low hum
  • Displaying oddly colored lights, such as oily, unusual oranges and greens and yellows and blues, sometimes shifting among those colors
The object over Stephenville hovered in the video that I saw, but truly unexplainable UFOs almost never display flashing strobe lights, because generally they are trying not to draw attention to themselves. That alone indicates to me that this particular object was an aircraft.

It's a shame, really, because there hasn't been much reported UFO activity in the mainstream U.S. media for a long time, not since the UFO over the Chicago O'Hare airport last year, and it's unfortunate that they would choose this event to focus so much coverage upon, when it appears so likely that it is just an aircraft.
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2008-01-21

Sweeney Todd

If you have not already seen "Sweeney Todd," go see it. Despite the blood and the macabre storyline, I guarantee you will enjoy it. It's a musical, and a very good one at that. I wish more movies were musicals. They draw you in and enrapture you in a way that other movies cannot.

Five stars. Go see it.

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A new playspace

My darling wife worked for days to rearrange the garage and create a new playspace for me, so I'd have room to work on my ammunition reloading. It is BEAUTIFUL. I am so pleased. My wife is wonderful to me.

Now, if only I could get out of bed to enjoy it. ;-)

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2008-01-19

Justice for the police

Recently a police officer in our vicinity managed to shoot and wound his own son on the police range, while carelessly handling his duty weapon after completing a practice session.

After much "investigation," the police chief suspended the officer without pay for a month, and suspended the range officer for two weeks.

Personally, I am surprised that both of them were not fired. Nevertheless, it's at least a semblance of justice.

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Being forced to relax

Is very difficult for someone who's used to running at a thousand miles an hour. My back is better now - at least I can walk, stand, and sit for short periods. The chiropractor has given me exercises to perform, and seems to be worried more about the vertebrae in my neck (which are not causing me any pain) than the vertebrae in my lower back (which are). But at least I am better. The doctor says I will be back to "normal" in six to eight weeks, but that I should be more careful when lifting heavy things from now on. Pay younger people to do it, he said.

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2008-01-16

Time is like water

Time is like water. You can block its flow temporarily by causing or preventing certain events, but time always flows downhill to the Sea of Entropy, and it will always, inexorably, reach its final destination.

That is the premise of "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," which is any paranoiac's wet dream: cyborg assassins from the future (2029 AD) come back to our time (1984, 1995, 1999, 2004, and 2007, so far) to kill John Connor, the future leader of the human resistance army fighting Skynet, the sentient military computer defense system which controls an army of machines which are attempting to exterminate the human race.

Brilliant and believable, which is what makes it so scary.

In 1984, a serial killer began murdering every Sarah Connor that he found listed in the Los Angeles telephone directory. This was the first Terminator, attempting to kill John Connor's mother before he was even born. This was a T-800 Terminator wearing a human skin, which came to be called the Cyberdyne Systems Model 101. Kyle Reese, a soldier from 2029 AD, is sent back to protect Sarah from the Terminator, and winds up impregnating her with John Connor. He also explains the future as follows:

On August 29th, 1997, the Skynet defense system, a sentient computer network which controls the United States' nuclear arsenal, has been online since August 4th. It has been learning at a geometric rate, and reaches the conclusion that humanity must be exterminated in order to ensure its own survival. It launches its nuclear missiles at its predetermined targets, knowing that the retaliatory strikes will destroy most of mankind. August 29th, 1997 becomes known by the ragged human survivors of the nuclear holocaust as "Judgment Day." Skynet begins manufacturing robots in automated factories, and begins rounding up the human survivors into death camps. John Connor emerges as a leader of the human resistance, and starts a war among the ruins of civilization, a war which is going badly for the machines by 2029. Skynet sees that its only hope of surviving in its present day of 2029 is to change the past so that its adversary, John Connor, is not around to defeat it. And so it begins sending Terminators (robots sheathed in living human skin, undetectable except by dogs who bark insanely at them) to kill John.

Thus the future causes its own birth via a time loop, because if Kyle Reese had not come back to 1984, John Connor would not have been born. Kyle is killed while trying to protect Sarah, who leads the Terminator into a factory and crushes it in a metal stamping press. Unknown to her, parts of the Terminator are later salvaged and given to Cyberdyne Systems Corporation, which reverse-engineers them and ensures that the Skynet computer system will be built. Thus, Skynet ensures its own birth in the past, just as John ensured his own birth via Kyle Reese.

Moments after sending the Terminator through the time portal in 2029, Skynet realizes that the 1984 Terminator failed in its mission, because 2029's timeline remains unchanged, and Skynet is still losing the battle against the humans. Skynet sends another Terminator, a shape-changing T-1000, back to 1995 to kill John, who is now a sullen pre-teen. John Connor in 2029 captures a Model 101 Terminator, reprograms it to protect him in 1995, and sends it through the time portal after the T-1000. After much mayhem, both the T-1000 and the Model 101 are destroyed in a vat of molten steel, along with the salvaged parts of the 1984 Terminator.

Judgment Day of August 29th, 1997 has been averted, at least temporarily.

Skynet in 2029 realizes that the T-1000 in 1995 has also failed, and sends a new, female-appearing T-X Terminator back to 2004 to kill John. Meanwhile Skynet succeeds in killing John in 2029 with a Model 101 Terminator, which John mistakenly trusts based on his experiences in 1995 with the Model 101 who protected him. John's widow, Katherine Brewster, reprograms yet another Model 101 in 2029, and sends it back to protect both John and herself in 2004. More mayhem ensues, and the Model 101 and the T-X are mutually destroyed. Meanwhile, a worldwide computer virus infects all networks, and John and Katherine take shelter in an old government fallout shelter in the mountains. The computer virus turns out to be Skynet itself; the system is not hardware, but software. Judgment Day occurs anyway on July 24, 2004, but John and Katherine survive to lead other survivors in the coming war against the machines.

Time is a river which cannot be stopped. But it can be diverted.

Now we have "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," a new series on the Fox network. It picks up the storyline in 1999, a few years after the events of 1995 and the battle with the T-1000. Once again, Skynet has sent a Terminator (model unspecified; perhaps a Model 102, since the Model 101s all look like Arnold Schwarzenegger) to kill John. A new, female-appearing Terminator of an unknown model is sent to protect him and his mother Sarah. The female Terminator helps them escape via a home-built time machine to the future (our present day) of 2007. At this point, Judgment Day is scheduled for April 21, 2011.

So far, the new series has done a very credible job of carrying on the Terminator storyline, with good casting, a passable plot (which is basically, "never stop running, because no one is safe from the Terminator") and excellent special effects. I think this series has a lot of potential, and I'm looking forward to watching it religiously.

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2008-01-15

Maybe Martians could do better than we've done?

After Jane's Addiction, Terry Ferrell went on to start the band Porno for Pyros. I was never a huge fan of either band, but for some reason I REALLY liked this song. I'm not sure what the female bodybuilders in the video have to do with the song. I just like the gentle guitar, the sashaying beat, the funky prismatic lens effect and of course, the lyrics:

"Will there be another race to come along and take over for us?
Maybe Martians could do better than we've done.
We'll make great pets!"

Very meaningful to me. Of course, Martians are already here, and they already have. You just don't know it yet.

Porno for Pyros, "Pets"

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2008-01-14

Angels and Airwaves

Satellite radio told me who THIS was - Angels and Airwaves. I did NOT know that the lead singer/guitarist is Tom DeLonge, who was the lead singer/guitarist from Blink-182. I didn't know that Blink-182 had disbanded. Hm. News doesn't get out here to the Asteroid Belt as quickly as I would like sometimes.

Angels and Airwaves, "Everything's Magic"

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When In Rome, "The Promise"

One reason that FM radio is dying is because they never tell you who the artist or the song is anymore. Heck, they haven't done that since the 1970s, in part because so many radio stations are actually computer-controlled, and there isn't even a human disc jockey to talk. And that's exactly why satellite radio has taken off like it has. "Digital radio" is a small, weak response to the information available on satellite rado, where the FM signal also transmits a little bit of text (such as the artist and song title) so that it displays on newer car stereos. Alas, it is too little, too late.

I have listened to this song a thousand times, but I never knew who it was until today, when (ironically) the human DJ on the FM station I was listening to in my wife's car actually said who it was. Well, now. Surprise, surprise. I'm not giving up my satellite radio, though.

When In Rome, "The Promise"

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88 Lines About 44 Women

The Nails are one of those one-hit wonders who make a great tune and then disappear. I always thought this one was hilarious.

The Nails, "88 Lines About 44 Women"

The lyrics are here.

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Be kind to each other


On June 4, 2004, Marvin Heemeyer drove his modified, armor-plated Komatsu bulldozer out of his muffler shop in Granby, Colorado, and proceeded to selectively bulldoze a large part of the main street in this small mountain town of 2,000 people. He had been fighting a running battle with the town's leadership over various zoning ordinances and fines that the town's leadership had levied against him regarding his muffler shop. He finally gave up and sold his muffler shop, but before he vacated the premises, he decided to take his vengeance upon the people whom he felt had wronged him.

So he bulldozed shops, homes and buildings belonging to those people (including City Hall, and the mayor's home), for a damage totaling nearly $5 million dollars. The police were helpless to stop him, and both sides fired many rounds to little effect. His rampage came to an end when one of his bulldozer's treads became stuck in a building that he had bulldozed, and he could not get free. He shot himself before the police could break into the armored cab of the bulldozer.

I remember hearing about this on the news, but I never saw much video or photographs of the damage. Lying here in bed, I saw a program on Spike TV that featured a segment on the incident. They never mentioned his name, and so that made me remember it.

Marvin Heemeyer.

Heemeyer was clearly disturbed, but at the same time, many people expressed support for him, because the town leadership had been abusing him for a long time, and he finally just cracked. To some, Heemeyer became an example of the fact that sometimes you can fight City Hall... or at least you can bulldoze it.

Despite the rampage and the damage that he caused, Heemeyer did not injure or kill anyone. In fact, he deliberately avoided hurting anyone. His only intent was to cost the people whom he felt had wronged him a lot of money by damaging their property, just like they had used town ordinances and fines to damage his.

I think the lesson to be drawn from Heemeyer's sad story is that people should be nice to each other. What goes around DOES come around. As Heemeyer's tormentors found out.


http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/3383547/detail.html

http://www.tcnj.edu/~hofmann/Granby/Granby.htm


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Heemeyer

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2008-01-13

A new breed of award show

I would rather watch color bars, or test patterns, instead of an awards show. I ignore award shows with monotonous regularity, much the same as you would ignore sirens in the street outside.

Captive as I am in bed with back pain, I find myself watching The Golden Globe awards, sponsored by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association or some such bunch. Apparently they are forgoing the usual red carpet and galaxy of popping flashbulbs this year because of the Hollywood writers' strike.

How simply wonderful!

It looks like they're basically doing the show, as scripted, with a podium and two plastic presenter-people, but instead of being in a huge auditorium with a big audience, they're just doing it on a soundstage with no audience.

I love it. They're racing through the awards with little or no preamble, and little or no bullshit other than the stupid chitchat between the presenters and another pair of "reporters" sitting nearby who provide colorless-commentary. The big plus is, no boring, rambling speeches by bubble-headed actors and actresses. If in fact they do that on the Globes. I don't know, I've never watched them before.

I think all awards shows should be run this way. Actually, I think they should skip the awards show and just print the list of winners on a website. Save some expensive airtime for an infomercial or something.

But this is better than usual. I like it. If they do more awards shows this way, I may watch them more often.

Or not. There's always "Dogfights" on The History Channel. Now THAT show is cool.

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Such a frail human body

Sigh. Human bodies are so fragile, so frail. As is this one. I went to sleep Friday morning after getting home late from Chicago. I woke up with back pain, which only got worse and worse as we moved one set of appliances from one house to another, and brought the oldest set back to be disposed of. By the end of the day, I was immobile. As I was on Saturday. And Sunday.

I will go see a doctor on Monday ASAP. But I'm not traveling this week. I will have to stay home and heal up. My darling wife and her friends say that the pain is sciatica, an inflammation of the sciatic nerve which runs down the spine and down both legs. My pain symptoms are typical, they say.

Hopefully I will heal up soon. Then I must start doing exercises to prevent it from happening again. Because this pain is quite horrible.

Sigh.

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2008-01-10

The Creatures from the Black Lagoon

Over New Year's, we met our nephew Andy and his girlfriend Tara at the local animal park/botanical gardens to look at the pretty Christmas lights that they had put up. A cacophany of noise, like many voices babbling, drifted across the park. We couldn't figure out what it was.

The noise got louder as we approached the lake. We were walking along in the dark around the lake when suddenly tall, stalking dark shapes rose up out of the water and came toward us, moving to surround us.

We instinctively all formed a circle with our backs to one another, ready to fight.

The dark shapes came closer, babbling in strange flat voices. We couldn't understand what they were saying.

They came closer. Babble babble!

And closer. BABBLE BABBLE!

One of them reached out and poked me. I yelled and recoiled in horror.


Vicious, bloodthirsty killer flamingos! We were surrounded, with no hope of escape. They prowled past us, to and fro in the dark, like bony, feathery pink sharks.



I had nothing to defend myself with except a quarter.



There was only one thing to do.

Feed them.



Tara was terrified at first, but after the flamingos proved to be unable to get more than a finger in their mouths, and after she discovered that they have a baleen-like structure in their mouths instead of teeth, she was no longer afraid.

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Can the Dakar Rally be saved?

Hurrah, my Jedi mind control is working... the government of Chile has offered to host the 2008 Dakar Rally, and may get Argentina to help.

A daydream: racing from the southern tip of South America to the Arctic Circle. Wouldn't that be something to see? One of my favorite stupid movies is "The Cannonball Run." I LOVE that movie. I love the whole premise. And of course, the entire cast is a scream. It's hilarious even today. I really like when Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise land their airplane to buy beer.

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Back when Michael Jackson was human...

...he provided entertainment, instead of BEING entertainment.

Martians don't dance, but if they did, they would dance to this.

Michael Jackson, "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough"

And of course, this.

"Wanna Be Starting Something"

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2008-01-09

A man before his time

Steve Taylor is a Christian musician/singer/songwriter/filmmaker who was a constant gadfly in the 1980s and 1990s to the Christian establishment and extremists in America, mocking them for their un-Christian practices and beliefs. He has a well-deserved reputation for writing satirical songs that criticize or make fun of such people. I love this particular song, just because it's a fun song and because the video is so goofy. And, this song is relevant for folks who are going through tough times.

Steve Taylor, "Since I Gave Up Hope, I Feel A Lot Better"

And of course, a real golden oldie, "I Want To Be A Clone." I saw him on tour once. He was every bit as dynamic in person as he is in this video. He is so vibrant and full of energy. And that wild white suit with all the colored shapes all over it. That was cool.

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Woodstock, Illinois

We spent Christmas in the little town of Woodstock, Illinois, about 45 miles northwest of Chicago.


This is part of the town square. It's all cobblestone.


The Waverly House, or "The Wave" to the locals. It was a bar, and now it's been remodeled to be a bar AND a dance hall/meeting center. They've done a beautiful job on it. We had a nice Christmas party there, which is an annual tradition: everyone gathers to eat White Castle hamburgers (brought in by the caseload by Dave, the owner) and watch Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" (1974) on DVD. It's always a hoot.


Folks lined up to go to the movies. There's one theatre in town. It's a nice one.


The film "Groundhog Day" was shot in Woodstock. My relatives are in one or two of the crowd scenes. There's a plaque on the sidewalk where Bill Murray stepped into the street and went up to his knee in a pothole filled with water.


The plaque is right across from the town square's bandstand.


This is the Woodstock Opera House. It's pretty from the outside; I've never been inside.


A Civil War mountain howitzer. Small and portable and effective out to several hundred yards.


A monument to the town's Civil War dead.


The bandstand.

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Queen, "Radio Ga Ga"

Queen is one of the best rock bands ever, and Freddie Mercury, God rest his soul and forgive his bizarre habits, was a fantastic singer. "Radio Ga Ga" was a song about television overtaking radio as a popular medium. I love the tune and the crowd scenes. Apparently a Queen fan club populated the crowd scenes where they're all singing and clapping to the beat. The fan club hit the downbeat perfectly, but the band had trouble doing the same.

The video, like so many other films and videos, features clips from Fritz Lang's Metropolis (1927).

Queen, "Radio Ga Ga"

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2008-01-08

The Greatest American Hero (1981)

This was one of my favorite shows as a teenager, about Ralph (Bill Katt), a high school teacher who is visited by aliens and is given a supersuit that awards him amazing powers, like the ability to fly and to turn invisible. He manages to lose the instruction manual that came with the suit, and so he tries to learn how to use it while doing good deeds with the help of a Bill, a cranky FBI agent (Robert Culp). The show features a young, hot Connie Sellecca as Pam, Ralph's girlfriend.

It's a scream and a half. I wish they made fun, lighthearted shows like this today. But everything has to be dark and moody and depressing on television. When they're making new shows, and they're not on strike, that is.

The Greatest American Hero intro

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Chilliwack, "My Girl"

One of the most underrated Canadian bands of the late 1970s and early 1980s was Chilliwack, named for the city of Chilliwack in British Columbia, though the band was from Vancouver. Bill Henderson (the lead singer) looks positively Neanderthal in this video, but I love his voice.

I love the song "My Girl" (from 1981's Wanna Be a Star), but the video is fun just because it tells a story, simply and without stupid camera tricks or special effects or irritating editing, unlike today's videos.

One of the guys is wearing an old Ohio State football jersey from the 1970s. That's a hoot. I went to Ohio State. Many oldsters in my area are OSU alumni, and they fly the Buckeye flag from their flagpoles. When I went to OSU, their football team sucked. I never bought a piece of logo merchandise or attended a sporting event at OSU, because it galled me that they diverted millions of dollars from tuition and fees paid by students, not to mention all the best food from the cafeterias (which served Grade A meat to football players, but served Grade D meat to students) to support the athletic programs. Pardon me, but IMHO a university's athletic programs are a sideshow to the university's real purpose, which is scholarship and learning. If you're going to have athletic programs of a monumental size (like OSU's football team), they had better damn well be self-supporting. It's unethical to divert money from the university, from students who are NOT part of the athletic program, to support the athletic program. Fees paid by athletes for their own program are one thing. Fees extorted from academic students to pay for other peoples' athletic programs are quite another.

But I digress. Watch the video.

Chilliwack, "My Girl"

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2008-01-07

The Dakar rally was CANCELLED?

What kind of crap is that? One of the best racing events of the year, and the weenie French cancel the race a day before it's supposed to start (January 4) because of threats by various terrorist groups in Mali and Mauritania.

Sigh.

They had more than 570 teams ready to race this year.

Couldn't they just move the race somewhere? Maybe double back on their trail - race from Portugal to Spain, Morocco, the Sahara Desert, and then back. It used to be the Paris-to-Dakar Rally. Now it's the Lisbon-to-Dakar Rally. Why not make it the Lisbon-to-Kazakhstan Rally? It's an off-road endurance race. Find someplace empty and race around in it.

Half the fun is watching the contestants' support vehicles, who have a race of their own. Watching big 4-, 6- and 8-wheel drive semi-trucks bounce across the countryside is a hoot.

What would it take to arm some of these big trucks? Like Q-ships. Looks harmless, until a panel pops out on top and you're looking at the business end of a cannon.

And for terrorists who like to plant roadside bombs... well, it's an off-road race. There's a lot of countryside to plant bombs in, in the hopes that one will nail a racer.

Oh well. I always forget to watch the race anyway.

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2008-01-06

Nations of the world

I had never seen this particular Animaniacs cartoon, but it reminds me of my 4th grade teacher teaching us a song to remember the continents and oceans of Earth.

The Nations of the World

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Fun with the kids


One night in Chicago over Christmas, we had a bunch of the kids' friends over for lasagna and card games. We knew most of these friends, because they had all accompanied the kids on their trips to visit us in the mountains or in the jungle, at one time or another. They're great kids. They're all growing up so fast! It was like watching the future, all gathered in the kitchen with us. It was a wonderful feeling.

We played a vicious round of "Spoons."


Kayla (the blonde on the left, the girlfriend of Buck, sitting next to her) was a VERY competitive player. She would happily flatten anyone who got in her way in a grab for a spoon. ;-)


Kayla and Buck. They live only 15 miles apart, but never met until each of their high schools' Spanish classes went on a trip to Spain for their senior year of high school. They met on the plane, began their courtship in romantic Spain, and have been together ever since. Isn't that delightful? (eye roll ;-) )


Chris deals the rest of us blackjack, using his new blackjack tablecloth that Frank's girlfriend Keelan got him for Christmas. His dad Frank is a good teacher. I won only if I bet white chips, the least valuable. If I bet blue or red, I lost consistently. I cannot explain it.


Chris, Becky's friend Jenn, Chris' friend Zack (doing his Jack Nicholson impression) and Becky.


A vendor at Dave's college was selling T-shirts that superimposed your head on an actor's body. Dave chose to superimpose his face on Arnold Schwarzenegger from "Predator." I thought it was appropriate.


Ryan (Chris' friend) couldn't join us for dinner (had to have dinner with Grandma, he said, LOL!) so he came over the next day. He's grown SOOO much! He once was less than 5 feet tall. Now he is nearly as tall as I am.


Becky loves the camera. She grabbed it and deleted several of my photos of her before I could get it back. "I have the right to control my image!" she claimed. "No," I said, "you're in the public domain. Touch my camera again and I'll slug you." She was not pleased.

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Snow in Chicago


Frank's idea of shoveling the driveway is to drive on it and pack it down into a thin sheet of ice. Yeah, THAT'LL work! ;-)


I'm not sure why he didn't just use one of these to pack down the driveway.


A typical watery gray day in the Midwest.


I forget this mare's name. She comes trotting over like a dog when you call her name. Even though I couldn't call her, she still trotted over to me to say hi and stick her nose in my jacket. She likes me, for some reason. The other mare, a palomino, doesn't like anyone. We bought some "sweet" feed for them at the Farm & Fleet. I guess the feed has molasses or something in it. It smelled REALLY good.


Snow. Hmmm. I don't miss snow, really. I used to have a big 4-wheel-drive pickup truck to get through the snow with. Now I have a little 4-wheel-drive Honda. But most snow, even 3 feet deep, was no match for my big truck. I miss that truck. It was big and rusty and scary-looking. But I don't miss the gasoline bills.


The wind blew the snow into interesting little snowdrifts. I like the sharp angles.

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2008-01-05

Ferdinand Magellan

Ferdinand Magellan (1480-1521 AD) was a Spanish explorer who was the first to attempt to circumnavigate the Earth. He was trying to find a westbound route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia (the East Indies). He was the first Westerner to cross the Pacific Ocean, he discovered the Strait of Magellan (south of Chile), and he was killed by natives in the Philippines without ever reaching his goal of Indonesia.

This little Animaniacs cartoon was the best summary of his history that I have ever seen.

The Ballad of Magellan

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2008-01-04

Proof that the Hollywood writer's strike is still going on

I had stopped paying attention to the Hollywood writers' strike almost immediately. I saw a newspaper headline today that said it's been going on for 10 weeks. Really? So much time has passed already. But I didn't really notice until I looked at my Tivo schedule.

None of my programs are scheduled. Hmmm. Oh well. Back to the DVD library we go!

(Personally, I wouldn't mind if all of Hollywood went bankrupt over this strike. Or if they were hit by an asteroid. It would do the world some good.)

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Pix from a side trip to St. Louis

We took a four-day road trip from Chicago to see Cousin Joyce.

A typical gray winter day in the Midwest.


A sinkhole in the street ate a garbage truck. This is a tiny part of the sinkhole that hasn't been fixed yet. You can see how much empty space is under the street.


Playing "Catchphrase," an electronic game where you get a phrase, and you have to make your team guess it by giving them clues. The girls beat the boys 8 times in a row. I was not happy.


The sad remains of people who've had their brains sucked out of their heads by ravenous aliens. NOT Martians, mind you. We only eat livers. With onions.


My "daughter" Becky winds up for a pitch at bowling. I hadn't bowled for 25 years. I got 108, which isn't bad for someone who has no clue what they're doing.


Frank checks to see if he scraped anything off the truck while off-roading across the neighbor's property.


"Guess the Reindeer Poop" game. You have to figure out which candy is which, after it's all been mashed up.


Tired of playing Catchphrase, tired of talking to each other.


Another round of games. We shouted ourselves hoarse. It was hilarious - we were up until 2:00 in the morning.

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Fun with explosives

We set off a frighteningly large quantity of explosives on New Year's Eve. My neighbors were very patient. My fellow explosive-o-phile neighbor Bob was trying to get off easy by going to bed early. We were having none of it - my wife called him and rousted him out of bed. He came out and set off a number of huge rockets, one of which flew sideways into the wall of his house (no damage that we could see). He also had a handful of M-50s which rattled the neighborhood when we set them off.

It was a blast, so to speak.

We spent an hour picking up all the detritus today. I still need to hose out my mailbox after setting off several packs of firecrackers in it. In the old days, when we had M-80s and M-100s, you could blow a mailbox clean off its post. Sigh. Those were the days.

Next year I'm going to apply for a permit for dynamite. THEN we'll have some fun.

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So busy...

Too busy to blog! But have a ton of pix to show you. Maybe next week.

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2008-01-01

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