A minor flood

We had the plumber run new water lines in the attic, out to the garage where we are setting up a new, larger laundry room. Since the tourists are back, the plumber's phone is ringing constantly.

During one of his innumerable calls, he managed to forget to glue together a joint in the hot water pipe he was installing. He tested the pipes briefly, using the washing machine, but it held.

When we ran the laundry that night, it let go, and sprayed hot water all over the attic.

My darling wife's bionic hearing detected the sound of water falling through the ceiling and splattering on the linoleum floor in the hallway. I, of course, heard nothing. But when she got up to investigate, and then began shouting, I knew something was wrong.

Together, we found the hot water shutoff on our new water heater, and stopped the washing machine too. There was water everywhere... pouring out of the ventilation duct in the ceiling, dripping from the light fixture in the ceiling, pouring down the inside of the walls.

I called the plumber and was very nice, if I do say so myself. He apologized profusely and showed up within half an hour.

All three of us hauled about a third of the soaked fiberglass insulation batting out of the attic, and threw it away. We swept all the water out into the garage and out the garage door. By 11:00 PM, it was all done, the pipe was fixed, the plumber left and we went to bed. He promised to pay for the insulation and any other repairs we have to make.

Before he left, I told the plumber two things, with a smile:

• One, he has to turn off his cellphone next time he does work at our house.
• Two, he gets a corner cut off of his plumber's card. (We were both in Boy Scouts. In the Scouts, you are allowed to carry a knife or an axe only if you have been certified to do so by your scoutmaster. You carry a Woodsman's Card that says you can do this. Each slip or accident you have, the scoutmaster cuts a corner off your card. If all four corners are cut off, you lose your privileges to carry a knife or an axe. Therefore, our plumber gets a corner cut off of his "Plumber's Card" because he screwed up.)

He laughed, and agreed.