I am going to hell, for sure

It's mean to make fun of people, so I make sure never to do it to their face, and to make sure I only do it regarding strangers. Somehow that makes it forgivable. Or maybe not. I blame my childhood. I was made fun of (and beaten up) quite a lot for being an alien. It taught me a strange, self-effacing, and often sick sense of humor. ;-)

We were walking through a department store last night, and a woman walked past us, heading in the same direction as us, who had the most colossal rump that I have seen in a long time. We're talking Biblical proportions, here. She was in her 40s, perhaps, and undoubtably had a glandular disorder that made her so oddly gigantic in particular areas.

I waited until she had passed safely out of earshot ahead of us, and then I glanced furtively over my shoulder behind us.

"What?" asked my darling wife.

"Do you see a whaling ship? I would hate to get run over."

My wife cracked up. "Or to get hit by a stray harpoon!" she giggled.

I am indeed going to hell. But it's not my wife's fault - she shouldn't accompany me just for laughing.