Near Death Experiences, part 2

So I spoke with K today, and asked how she was. "Fine," she said, "but my poor computer still keeps acting up." Her computer is one of the moxt powerful workstations I have seen, with a RAID array, 16GB of memory, dual monitors, blah blah blah. (I would kill to have that machine at home for gaming.) K popped up her training simulations, and tried to show me what simulation was not working right.

Of course, since I was there, it worked perfectly. This is normal for me, and I told her that the computer was behaving since I was there with her, but it may act up again after I leave, and that she should come and get me if it does. We laughed. She's a very sunny person.

But this gave me an opportunity to ask her, "Does your watch ever stop working?"

"Sometimes, when the battery goes flat." She looked puzzled.

"How about your television? Have you ever had it quit working one day for no reason?"

"Yessss..." she said, frowning, wondering where I was going with this.

"How about your car battery? Does it ever die suddenly, without warning? Works fine one day, quits the next? Several times a year?"

"Yes." She started to look frightened. Maybe she thought I was reading her mind or something.

I lowered my voice. "Have you ever been gravely ill, or injured?"

"Yes," she whispered, sadly.

"Have you ever been near death? Did you die?" I asked.

"Yes." Tears welled up in her eyes, and I touched her arm. "It's okay. I'm asking because I'm trying to figure out why you're having computer problems, so it's important." She nodded. "Can you tell me about it?" I asked.

She was very reluctant to say anything, but as we talked, she told me that she had had not one, not two, but three Near Death Experiences. Her first was after a car accident nearly 20 years ago. Her second and third were a couple of years ago, when she was gravely ill with some kind of organ problem (not cancer, but it had apparently been afflicting her for a long time, until she had to go into the hospital for emergency surgery). She died once, and then again in two separate instances over the course of several weeks. Each time she was revived.

But what really bothered her, what freighted her soul with guilt, was that each time she died and was revived, someone else near her died. Once it was a stranger, one of the hospital staff. The other two times, relatives died. All three people died suddenly, without warning, each one dying shortly after she had her Near Death Experience.

In her mind, the events were related. Each of those people died because she had NOT died when she was supposed to. And she felt guilty about it.

"It's not your fault," I said. "I don't believe there is a requirement that someone else die in your stead if you survive. And at any rate, I'm glad that YOU'RE here, that YOU survived." She smiled through her tears. "But do you watch 'Pushing Daisies' on TV?" I asked. She shook her head. "You really should watch it, because it talks about exactly what you're describing," I said. "It's a comedy, so it's funny. You might appreciate it." She said she'd check it out.

"But what you've told me confirms what I suspected about the computer problems that you're having," I told her, "and it's not your fault. Your experiences have changed you, and changed the electric field that your body radiates. And electronic equipment sometimes doesn't get along with the new 'you.'" She laughed.

We talked a little more, but she indicated that she had to stop because one of her nasty colleagues was listening.

Later she came to visit me in my training room, and we chatted some more. I didn't learn much more about her experiences, because J (the IT lady) and M (my training coordinator) both began telling K about their NDEs, and so it became more of a support group for K, which is good, because it was exactly what she needed. But she brought me food, as a gift, and gave me a hug. I emailed her some NDE links, and a link to "Pushing Daisies," and she brought me MORE food in return. She says that's what she does - she's skinny as a rail, but she loves to cook and to feed the people around her. I thanked her and ate appreciatively.

I think it was a meaningful experience for her, and for me.